THE NEW PANDEMIC NORMAL
A Mix of Absurdities
We all got ‘em
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I couldn’t help notice that a middle-aged man, driving only himself, car windows rolled up, was fully masked. I was walking on the sidewalk, unmasked and in a “thinking” kind of mood.
When the light turned red and seeing as his car was in the right lane and me on the sidewalk, I realized we were almost within talking distance. My untameable curiosity got the best of me, so I motioned with pantomime to see if he could roll down his window.
The nice, fully-masked man did as such and said, “Yes? Do you need something?”
Me: Thank you for noticing, and yes, I do. By virtue of your willingness to speak with me, I can tell that you are a very kind man. I am wondering if you can pull over for a second.
Man: Sure. If we’ve learned anything this year, it’s about going the extra distance.
Me: Thank you. Well, for starters, can you tell me why you are wearing a mask as you drive only yourself in your car? Until just this minute, your windows were fully closed.
Man: That is a great question, but first, a question for you. Why do you need to know?
Me: I am trying to draw a line in my life between sanity and absurdity, and I am having a hard time.
Man: I need some examples if I am to help you.
Me: Absurdity — I care about Sam in Atypical more than I care about my neighbors. Absurdity — I sometimes skip straight to dessert because I’ve decided protein is overrated. After all, has protein made our world any better? Absurdity — I can’t seem to read books even though I’m a voracious reader. I am stuck in short-story-land.
Man: Wow, you are dealing with a lot.
Me: Aren’t we all? And now I notice that people in cars are driving fully masked and no one’s in the car with them. I am thinking either it’s another absurdity, or I am missing something. I know am missing a lot these days.
Man: The answer to your question about why I am wearing a mask in the car with my windows rolled up has to do with all the things I don’t know. Since I don’t know much about this virus or the best way to proceed, I’ve decided to take no…
