At My Pace (Take 2) by Jill Ebstein

I failed the first time I tried to write my story. I think I had too much to say — sort of like a carbonated beverage that has been shaken and is ready to explode at mere opening. So here is take two and I will start with a seminal moment that changed my journey.

I was working at a startup that on a good day was crazy but still productive. It was 2001, and except for me, the senior team was all men. In many ways, I stood out — from not being invited to join in the daily lunch ritual to not ending the day with drinks at a bar. They were nice enough, but I didn’t really belong. One afternoon, I got a call from my nanny that she couldn’t pick up the kids from school. My husband was unavailable, so I immediately left work but got stuck in a traffic jam caused by a Bill Clinton visit to Boston. I ended up being very late to retrieve my kids. There they were, ages 11, 9 and 6, sitting happily at the curbside of the school, playing word games (“20 questions” was a favorite), no worse for the wear. Not so for me. I was irritated by the late call, by struggling with traffic and Boston drivers, and wondering what I got out of my job that made this complicated straddle worthwhile.

That moment gave me the push to start my own business — something I had occasionally dreamt about but previously lacked the courage to attempt. I had been on a fairly conservative and predictable path which went something like this: business school, management consulting, CitiCorp, Hewlett Packard, sprinkle in 3 kids over 5 years, capped off by a few smaller, less mainstream businesses that made going solo not so scary.

Once before, I had ventured outside the conventional career path. In 1989, after the birth of my first child, I asked Hewlett Packard (HP) to let me work part time. But back then, even the progressive culture of HP did not have a policy to easily accommodate what seemed to me like a simple request. Just as I prepared to strike out on my own, the HR department decided to try a 6-month pilot program with no guarantees. That pilot lasted 10 years and 4 bosses, and opened the door for more women like me.

I am now in my 14th year of solo consulting. During that time I have asked myself whether I have regrets about the path I’ve chosen, especially given the discussion surrounding Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. While I have sometimes…